I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
