chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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