wat bout pragnant strippers??
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
