but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
