oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
