i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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