Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
