I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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