Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
