Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
