No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
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I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
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When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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