He passed out mid-signature
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
