i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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