He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
