Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize