Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
