A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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