you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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