we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
