so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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