your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
