is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I believe in your delicious
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
