4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
