Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
