We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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