Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
