My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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