Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize