Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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