I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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