are you still at the devil's house?
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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