So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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