drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
