i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
