If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"