What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!