Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
