Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(718): View more from New York

There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...

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(718): There's a dildo in the cheerios box here... http://tfl.nu/sohe

Replies (12) Good night (1421) Bad night (706)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??

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(603): he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward?? http://tfl.nu/1124

Replies (22) Good night (4767) Bad night (959)
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(870): View more from Arkansas

Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"

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(870): Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty" http://tfl.nu/dezg

Replies (14) Good night (1165) Bad night (4448)
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(256): View more from Alabama

she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump

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(256): she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump http://tfl.nu/on8v

Replies (12) Good night (5956) Bad night (1058)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?

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(570): Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow? http://tfl.nu/hfr5

Replies (14) Good night (3771) Bad night (947)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on

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(814): I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on http://tfl.nu/jkd3

Replies (3) Good night (3001) Bad night (941)
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(619): View more from California

My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.

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(619): My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can. http://tfl.nu/8tit

Replies (21) Good night (14936) Bad night (1510)
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(248): View more from Michigan

We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.

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(248): We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer. http://tfl.nu/kn8l

Replies (8) Good night (3516) Bad night (1320)
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(310): View more from California

I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*

(310): View more from California

Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.

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(310): I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.* (310): Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche. http://tfl.nu/gxdj

Replies (12) Good night (3029) Bad night (872)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?

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(717): I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman? http://tfl.nu/8vyd

Replies (6) Good night (2018) Bad night (772)
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(307): View more from Wyoming

I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.

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(307): I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome. http://tfl.nu/fygk

Replies (4) Good night (661) Bad night (1994)
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(937): View more from Ohio

I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.

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(937): I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe. http://tfl.nu/np5r

Replies (10) Good night (1633) Bad night (483)
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(415): View more from California

That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.

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(415): That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist. http://tfl.nu/yn2x

Replies (12) Good night (459) Bad night (2500)
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(440): View more from Ohio

"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.

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(440): "I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth. http://tfl.nu/p4vu

Replies (5) Good night (469) Bad night (782)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?

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(651): Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober? http://tfl.nu/u9br

Replies (0) Good night (286) Bad night (374)

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