I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?