Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
So much puke
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.