"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
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he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
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But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.