wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I wish I only lived at night.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
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So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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