I think i sorta joined a cult last night
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
