Don't make out with my wife yet
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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