Ambien. No doubt about it.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
