does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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