I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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