Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
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Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
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Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
You are a genius and a whore.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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