I wanna bring you to show and tell
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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