PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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