My balls are so social today.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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