the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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