All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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