Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
