Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
