great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
