i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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