I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
only if we run a train.
done.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
