drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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