I'm sorry my penis didn't work
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the room spins SO much faster in panama
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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