Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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