bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Randomize
