My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
We're using joints as your birthday candles
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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