Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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